INTRODUCTION:

We read in Proverbs 31:10-31 a description of a truly virtuous woman in the eyes of God.  These verses depict one who possesses those qualities that are morally excellent and worthy of imitation by all women of all time who would order their lives so as to be pleasing to God and useful during their sojourn on earth.  These qualities provide such women with a reliable pattern or template to which they can compare their own actions and attitudes as they seek to harmonize their lives with the will of God.  It is unlikely that this is a description of any specific woman living at the time.  Initially, it appears that these words were taught to Lemuel (31:1) to guide him in his own search for a wife.  Our young men would be wise to use them for that purpose.  Too often our decision to marry a particular person is based upon standards that are far inferior to those revealed here.  Between the fanciful idea that marriage is made in heaven (that God directly leads us to our proper marriage partners) and the idea that every marriage is a pure gamble (that we are completely without guidance) is the existence of these, and other, inspired verses of scripture that give clear guidance concerning this extremely important decision.  To ignore God’s guidance in such a matter can have long-lasting, even eternal, consequences.
Every parent would do well to teach his or her children to value these qualities.  Our children will be getting a very different message from playmates, television, magazines, and many other sources.  Without parental guidance they will come to believe that people are valuable because of the way that they look, what they possess, what they can do for us, how powerful they are in various political circles, and so on.  These are worldly standards that are in direct competition with the divine standards found in the Bible.  And they are competing vigorously.  Only by a consistent example and by regular teaching can we hope to offset the effects of hours of television viewing and the almost unanimous opinions of their peers.
This section of scripture would have been extremely unusual in any secular literature of the time in which it was written.  Women in the east were not normally regarded so highly and their involvement in public activity was frowned upon.  Those who believe that they must make their religious practice “culturally relevant” would have had to ignore these verses while the ink was still wet upon the scroll.  But, since culture does not define truth, they would have been wise to alter their thinking and practice when confronted with these words.  While human ideas change with the times; truth often challenges the times to change.
“Who can find a virtuous woman?”  Before the question can be answered, there is a need to understand the qualities that are truly “virtuous” and to come to appreciate the worth of those qualities.  Having come to understand and appreciate them, it is hoped that our women will choose to find, in the mirror, one who is coming closer and closer to the standard described.  And it is hoped that our young men, seeking to have similar qualities in their own lives, will find those young women who are approximating the virtuous woman.  It is for this end that we now begin our look at the qualities of a virtuous woman.

DISCUSSION:

I. SHE IS VERY, VERY VALUABLE.

 A. No dollar amount can be placed upon the value of having these qualities.  What would you give,
  young man, to have a wife with these qualities?  Whatever your answer, she is worth more than
  that.
  1. In verse 10 there is a possible allusion to the exchange of treasure for a wife.
  2. Picture a man who has found a woman with the qualities described in this chapter 
   and has arranged to give her father a great treasure chest full of rubies in exchange    for her.  Having done so, the young man is now “dirt poor” as far as worldly 
   possessions are concerned, but he has a virtuous woman for his bride.  He is now 
   more wealthy than before.  With the support of such a wife he can be happy with 
   little and still have the prospects of  building from where he now finds himself to 
   even greater levels of prosperity.
  3. He can spend his days at his own profitable occupation and entrust her with other 
   important affairs while he is away.  He can safely trust her to carefully handle those  affairs with her attention and personal concern.
  4. She is on HIS team, pulling with him in all that is right and good.
 B. “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband
  dot safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and 
  not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12).
 C. Compare this beautiful arrangement with that described in Proverbs 12:4.
  1. “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as
    rottenness in his bones.”
  2. Notice the implication:  A woman who does not have the qualities of virtue will 
   make her husband ashamed and will be a deep hindrance to his attempts to better
   himself and his family.   Life in such an arrangement is a daily struggle for all 
   involved.
  3. When the emphasis of a wife is primarily to get things FROM her husband and from
   others rather than to cooperate to make things go well for the mutual benefit of the    family members, there will be great strain and difficulty.
  4. When emphasis is placed upon each making his or her contribution to the success of 
   the family, all will tend to go well, like a well-oiled machine (with occasional 
   challenges that can be overcome with united effort).
  5. Notice also that the virtuous woman is not in competition with her husband.  Instead,
   she is on his team.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She does 
   everything to give him support and nothing to undermine him.
 D. Clearly, the virtuous woman of our day is not addicted to soap  operas, endless shopping sprees
  for frivolous frills, and merciless gossip with others.  While she engages, in moderation, in   those things that meet her personal needs, her eye is upon the needs of her family.   She does
  not  waste  her  life  in  self centered pursuits at the expense of those who are, in a sense, 
  entrusted to her care.  She looks for ways to “make it work.”

II. HER WILL IS INVOLVED IN HER INDUSTRIOUS AND LOVING ACTIVITY.

 A. She does not grudgingly drag herself out of bed in the morning only to involve herself in 
  those things that she dreads to do.  She feels no resentment as she makes her contribution 
  for the welfare of her family.
  1. Instead  she  willingly  and  actively  pursues  the  kind of work that will contribute 
   to the well-being of herself and her family.
  2. She not only fits herself for those tasks by learning the skills to do them and by 
   giving herself to accomplishing them, she takes pleasure in doing them.
 B. To emphasize this point, I have capitalized those words that show this in verse 13.
  1. “She SEEKETH wool, and flax, and WORKETH WILLINGLY with her hands.”
  2. Here we have a description, not only of her actions, but of her attitude as well.
 C. Honest labor is an honorable thing.  Understanding and believing this is, perhaps, the key 
  to finding pleasure in good, honest  work.
  1. Our thoughts and beliefs about what we are doing  determine, for the most part, 
   how we feel about what we are doing.
  2. Muttering to ourselves about how much we would rather be doing something else 
   can only serve to create negative  feelings  about  what  we  are  doing.   But if we
   can  change those self-statements to reflect the true, good nature of what we are
   doing, we can actually learn to “whistle while we work.”
  3. “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no 
   guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food 
   in the harvest” (Proverbs 6:6-8).
 D. Women and men alike need to rediscover this value.

III. SHE GOES BEYOND DOING WHAT IS CONVENIENT.

 A. People tend to follow the path of least resistance and are therefore inclined to do what is easiest and refrain from doing what is difficult.  The result is that many valuable things go 
  undone because they would not have been easy to do.
  1. We cannot help but suspect that a great number of those who are in poverty in this
   country simply have not put forth the necessary effort to improve themselves.
  2. Our forefathers believed that there was great opportunity to prosper in this country 
   if they would only put forth the effort to do so.  
  3. The  current  message  seems  to  be  that  everyone  is entitled  to  have  as  much
   as  everyone  else  and  that  obtaining it should be easy.  Effort, economizing, and      self-discipline are no longer emphasized as they were in the past.
 B. The virtuous woman is willing to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done even 
  if it is not the most convenient thing to do.
  1. “She is like the merchants” ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth while 
   it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens”     (Proverbs 31:14,15).
  2. If  the needs  of  her  family  so  dictated,  she drove past  7-11 and went on to 
   County Market where the prices and quality were better.
  3. The ancients normally kept a lamp burning at night, and the oil needed to be 
   replenished during the night.
   a. Industrious women rose to replenish the oil and sometimes used this 
    time to make preparation for the next day’s meals (grinding corn...).
   b. The virtuous woman did this even though she had servants to help.
 C. Like most of the qualities discussed in this chapter, this is one  that would apply to men and
   women alike (Romans 12:11).
  1. Who can say what important things could be accomplished for the cause of Christ 
   if all would go well beyond what is convenient?
  2. What books might be written and sermons preached?
  3. How many lost souls might consider the truth of the Gospel and be saved?

CONCLUSION:

As we continue to look at the excellent qualities that are held up for godly women to imitate, let us actively look for ways to move ourselves closer to these high standards.
 

         Tim Nichols